If you are twenty-five or under, you have no business even thinking about getting married or becoming a father. I don’t care how in love you might be with “the greatest girl in the world.”  I’m sure she’s terrific. But it doesn’t matter how ready she feels to get married and have a baby. She may be mature enough to become a good parent now.

But you’re not.

When you can attract a Worthwhile Woman and maintain a successful relationship with her, you can start thinking about being a husband and father.

So what does it mean to say a guy “has balls”? Of course he has balls. Every guy has balls, right? Sure, but we’re not talking about testicles; we’re talking about balls. You get known for having balls by how you act, especially under pressure. When the chips are down, a guy who has balls does the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.

By definition, a young man is immature. Young is the opposite of mature. Don’t worry about being immature and certainly don’t take it as an insult when someone calls you immature. This can be hard because it feels like an insult (and is usually meant as one). But it’s really just a fact. So what? You can choose to let the insult pass you by. Don’t take the bait.

Here’s the truth: When it comes to being a husband and father, if you’re going to do the job right, you have to be conscious of the compromises you are making and are going to make. You have to make peace with those compromises or you’ll either drop the ball, letting your family down, or you’ll be resentful as you grudgingly fulfill your responsibilities… or both.

When a guy doesn’t even know what is really important to him, he can’t enter into the relationship with any clarity. Even if he has some integrity and courage; in other words, some balls, he doesn’t know what to do with them. Where does he make his stand?  What can he tolerate? What is off limits and beyond compromise? You have to think these things through before you commit yourself to a woman or she’ll make those decisions for you.

It is easy to confuse having balls with having heart. Great athletes have heart. Some have balls, too, but if they do it has nothing to do with what they do during the game. Giving the famous “110%” on the playing field is playing with heart — “ which is great and admirable. But it’s still play.

Soldiers have balls. Cops have balls. Firefighters and members of rescue crews: these people definitely have balls. They live with their fears and still do their jobs. But these are not the only people with balls.

So then, how about the rest of us? How do we grow and keep our balls?

Most of us find we grow and keep our balls by living with integrity: being honest to ourselves and others; living according to our principles (which require us knowing what our principles are to begin with); walking the talk; doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do. We live with integrity by demonstrating our morals and values.

The character you are developing comes from the behavior of the people who are raising you — your role models: parents, relatives, family friends, coaches and teachers.

Every kid deserves to have a mature man (with balls) as a father.