It has been nearly four years now since Growing Balls first was published and began raising eyebrows in those who so much as glanced at its cover; reactions have been far more animated in those who actually took the time to read it.  Though many adults have used it to better understand the young men in their lives and to start the hard-to-have but necessary conversations, the target audience is young men themselves. The eye-catching title and salacious chapter headings speak to the challenge of getting guys to consider reading a self-help book.

Fortunately, the tactic worked. Whenever I hear from a young man who has benefitted from something he read in GB, I feel all the work was worthwhile. And though I get a few shaking fingers pointed my way now and then, most people understand that the problems facing guys today deserve real attention and there simply is not time for political correctness.  I think society can handle a few balls jokes. Besides which, readers soon find that the ‘Balls’ analogy is for courage: Courage to “do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.”  Can you really argue with that?

GB has been reviewed by my therapist colleagues (see The Therapist magazine, July/August ’08) and there is an itunes podcast link here to an interview I did with Matt Gomes for his Kiva Connection (episode 18) that you might enjoy.  I am getting to present at the occasional clinical conference and train therapists at counseling centers.  Clinical interest like this is gratifying in that young men who might benefit from the book get introduced to it by the counselors, therapists and mentors who spend time with them.

With the help of two colleagues, Manuel Lua, MA and Travis Curtiss, MA, I wrote a group counseling curriculum to go along with the book.  You will find it in the Counseling Corner tab on this website and it is offered for free.  Named after the subtitle, it leaves out the Balls references and deals with the values and decision-making subjects of the book.  This makes it easy to use in schools and counseling centers where the GB title may make official heads spin.

So, enough of an update; I hope perusing the site will entice you to get copy of Growing Balls and see what it has to offer the young man making his way in society today.

David Hafter –

August 31, 2010
Davis California

Please find below a pre- and post- test for the curriculum.  There is also an answer sheet and a data-gathering sheet.  The curriculum is free for downloading and using.  I ask that if you are doing the group, you consider taking the time to use the tests and to gather the outcomes data and review it for yourself to see if the group is helpful.  I would also appreciate you sending the data to me along with your comments.  I am always working to improve the curriculum

Because I encourage creativity with the material, I am getting some wonderful reports on how both the book and the curriculum are being used in therapy.  Some clinicians are using the material with girls, and successfully so.  There are therapists using the curriculum in one to one therapy. Others will photocopy a page or two from the book and use it as a doorway to important conversations or simply use the ideas from the book or curriculum to start conversations with young people and their families.  I applaud all of it.

Good luck in your work with Growing Balls material and thank-you for all you are doing to try to help young people, both men and women, to grow up safe, healthy and out of trouble.

Your Colleague,

David Hafter, MFT

August 31, 2010

Davis, California

PPYM Test Answer sheet

PPYM Group Outcomes Reporting Form

Personal Power for Young Men Pre Test

Personal Power for Young Men Post Test

With a frightening lack of preparation, and nothing in the way of a life preserver, our culture tosses its young males into the shark tank of adult life. It’s no wonder that so many go under, succumbing to destructive peer pressure or substance abuse or the dead end of a premature marriage. David Hafter, who has spent decades counseling teenagers and twentysomething males, offers a ray of hope in Growing Balls: Personal Power for Young Men. Despite the facetious title, this is a serious piece of work. Taking on the role of an experienced, even tempered mentor — something that’s in woefully short supply these days — Hafter neither pulls his punches nor  functions as a scold. He simply gives good advice. With any luck, both young men and their loved ones (parents, siblings, spouses) will profit from this blunt and often amusing book.

– James Marcus, author of Amazonia

As the father of two teenage boys, I am very aware of the challenges and rewards facing young men today and of the need for us parents to engage in frank communication with them as they mature. David Hafter’s Growing Balls is a plain-spoken, insightful and highly readable guidebook for these critical years. It provides detailed, down-to-earth advice to both the young reader and his parents and acts as a great framework for important conversations.

William Panek, M.D.

Thanks for coming by. Please have a look at the chapter previews and if you’re interested, you can order the book online. See instructions on the “Order a copy” link. There is a little tune I put together for the book, and you can find the video on YouTube (click here or type Growing Balls into the YouTube search engine). The music sets the tone for the book and touches on some of its themes.

Again, thanks for coming!

Dave